In Stirling Eurovision Trumps Revision

We admit to being fans of the one and only Eurovision. Not only did we watch the final on Saturday but also both semi-finals during the week.

I’d say the final is a special occasion – it only happens once a year! So Miss Rosé, Miss Working Journalist and I made our way to Miss Lithuania’s in Glasgow to celebrate it in style.

Drinks and food were had as per usual when we ever-hungry ladies get together. Miss Lithuania is lucky enough to live in a family house and has a table, that to us Stirling students renting table-less flats is the utmost luxury!

We got ever so slightly jolly and danced around the living room once the show came on. Each of us had our favourites in the competition and each of us had a Top 3 potential winners list. For the first time ever I actually guessed correctly and was the only one who mentioned Azerbaijan (Miss Working Journalist already checked flight prices for next year – £500 minimum).

Here’s a wee commentary on some of the most memorable acts and funny incidents of the night:

Is Romania’s performer or Dave the ex-binman from Newcastle Tom Cruise’s twin separated at birth?

Do Jedward have genitals?

Eric Saade from Sweden, you will not be popular because there is only enough space in the world for one Justin Bieber and it’s already taken.

Greek men are hot. So are Danish guitar players. And members of British boy bands. Spanish ladies have very nice legs.

We’re slightly afraid of Russian men now if they think “gunning for a girl” is the thing to do.

Lithuania, if you want to sing in French, make sure you choose lyrics that actually mean something significant.

We predict Moldovan hats may become the IT accessory of the season. As will unicycles.

Georgia, Linkin Park were big in the 90s and early 2000s. You may also want to think about changing your stylist…

France, don’t waste such good singers on Eurovision! Although kudos for trying to raise the standard of the show.

For an extra laugh, we sincerely recommend watching the subtitled version of the show so you get an “even better” impression of the performers and their songs. Seriously, does anyone check their lyrics with a native speaker?

Albania’s Aurela Gace will “dab her lips with your morning dew” and Bosnia’s Dino Merlin wants to “keep it running on serpentine” while Latvia’s Musiqq “will love you with luscious thighs”. And in Ukraine… “When you look into my eyes sun is touching mountain top”.

The person transcribing Graham Norton’s comments got it terribly wrong when he or she decided to rename the UK’s very own Blue… Blew. Oops-a-daisy!

Can’t wait for next year’s show…

– Miss Red


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